Talking Cinnamon Hot Cocoa & Seeking Joy
Talking Cinnamon Hot Cocoa and Seeking Joy
Welcome to Coffee Concepts, where I pair a self-awareness or exploration topic with a fun drink recipe that feels like it fits the mood. Could I tell you why? Not always. It’s a very instinctual process. Are the vibes immaculate? I hope so!
Let’s start with the drink. When I read blog posts with recipes, nothing irritates me more than having to skim through four+ thumb swipes of story or information before seeing the recipe – even when it’s a great story! So, on the chance you got here looking for a from-scratch cinnamon hot cocoa, here’s the recipe, right now. If you were looking to read about seeking joy, it’s only one thumb-swipe below the recipe; I’ll see you there.
Homemade Cinnamon Hot Cocoa
When I want a treat that feels comforting, doesn’t have (much) caffeine, and carries a little bit of intention*, I make cinnamon hot cocoa. Through experimentation I’ve found the ideal balance of flavours and ingredients for me - play with them yourself to create the perfect cup! I never drink this one alone, coincidentally, so it’s dairy free - but I did still map out the amounts for a single cup, so you don’t need company to enjoy this.
| For One Person | For a loved one, too |
|---|---|
| 1/4 bar of IKEA dark chocolate | 1/2 bar IKEA dark chocolate |
| 1 tbsp cocoa powder | 2 tbsp cocoa powder |
| 1 cup cashew milk, vanilla unsweetened | 2 cups cashew milk |
| 1/2 cup coconut milk, from a can | 1 cup coconut milk |
| 1/2 tsp cinnamon | 1-2 tsp cinnamon |
| 1/4 tsp cardamom | 1/2 tsp cardamom |
| 1 cap of vanilla | 1 hearty cap of vanilla |
| 1 sprinkle of sea salt | 1 sprinkle of sea salt, plus a lil' |
| 1 tbsp honey | 2 tbsp honey |
*where’s the intention I talked about? In the cinnamon, and in the ritual of making it. From a magical point of view, cinnamon is a spice that acts as a positive amplifier. It’s used in spells to stimulate abundance, success, healing, courage, inspiration, or even luck. Thinking about what I’m hoping to draw out of it when I’m stirring the cocoa (clockwise, for manifestation), and while I’m drinking it, just feels good. I often connect it to a specific goal or even a problem.
Instructions:
Break the chocolate (and I’ve found that I need this to be IKEA’s dark chocolate specifically!) into pieces, and drop in a small pot (I use my pot I inherited from who knows which move and who that has a little spout on one side for pouring) over low heat until it melts.
Mix in the cocoa powder thoroughly. I use a silicone whisk, but you do you.
Add the coconut milk, slowly (very slowly) so that it incorporates fully into the chocolate. You might have to whisk exuberantly during this phase, and turn the heat up a bit - you’re going to have to bring everything to a light simmer.
Add the cashew milk. Why two different kinds of milk? To get the ideal fat content and flavour blend. I’ve tried a few handfuls of different milk blends, and this is the winner for me. If you don’t like coconut milk and can have dairy, use a hearty splash of cream and then milk up to the amount you need instead. Swap the cashew milk for regular or oat milk if you don’t like it. But cashew and coconut milk come together as more than the sum of their parts for me. Try it out!
Add the cinnamon, cardamom, vanilla, salt, and honey. Add less honey if you want it less sweet, more if you want it sweeter. I’m a believer of the “follow your heart” method when it comes to sweeteners. You might think the salt is optional - but it really brings out the depth of the chocolate, so I recommend it. Your drink won’t taste salty - I mean it when I say a light sprinkle! And use sea or flaky kosher salt - table salt is too salty for this.
Stir constantly (clockwise if you’re adding a little magic) until the pot is steaming and the drink is very lightly simmering – hot drink temperature. Give it a few minutes to pull itself together.
Pour into your favourite cup(s), and enjoy - don’t forget to think (calmly and comfortably) about the good things you’re pulling in to yourself with this one.
Seeking Joy - Why? How?
We all know that feeling good… feels good. We all want to be happy and seek out things we like. But what is joy, exactly? From psychology’s point of view, there are two types of joy - passive, and active. Both are feelings “ of extreme gladness, delight, or exaltation of the spirit arising from a sense of well-being or satisfaction” (that’s the American Psychological Association’s definition).
Passive joy is what we usually refer to as contentment - that tranquil feeling of satisfaction that comes with a soft blooming in your chest. Standing at your window with a hot cup of coffee, enjoying the moment and where you are, quietly, contemplatively… that’s passive joy. And it’s great. But what I want to talk about today is active joy. Active joy is more exuberant, likely more intense. It specifically comes with a higher level of engagement with your environment, and a desire to share the feeling with others. The “high” you get on the dance floor with friends at the club, or when your friend announces an engagement, or when a creative project turns out really well and you want to show everyone you know (for real, not internet strangers), that’s active joy. The big swelling in your chest that comes with a burst of energy, laughter, and the can’t-stop-smiling of it all - that feels even more powerful when we’re connecting with others. We feel good about ourselves, and more confident.
And you might be saying, of course we all seek that out. Who doesn’t like active joy? But the thing is, can you remember the last time you felt that way? Was it a while ago?
I think as adults (at least in Western culture), we forget to seek active joy. We spend years learning to “grow up”, “tone it down”, and “be quiet”. We stop getting recess, cramming side hustles or quick coffee runs on our work breaks. We take on responsibility after responsibility. We drop childhood hobbies and hangouts. We suppress big feelings, including the fun ones, so that we’re not disruptive, or annoying, or childish. Or insensitive - with the world so connected, there’s no way to avoid what feels like constant tragedy, dark and angry political omens, or the general heaviness of a stream of bad news that seems to be everywhere we look. With a wide enough circle (or even a small one), our joy always seems ill-timed with someone else’s hardship, and we don’t want to hurt them by enjoying ourselves while they can’t (though I really want to stress that all that does is reduce the amount of joy in the world - it doesn’t help anyone. Not that you’re going to laugh at a funeral, but enjoying yourself in general shows those who are hurting that better times exist, and will come for them, too).
So, we settle for contentment. Actually, we strive for it - because more often what we’re handed is burn out and a too-busy schedule where at night we just desperately don’t want to be in our own heads for a couple of hours before we have to sleep. And we cost ourselves our active joy, letting the memory of the feeling become something that gathers a little dust on a back shelf of our mind behind our calendars and feels unnatural or maybe even “overdone” when we run into it.
But I want you to feel active joy again. I want you to feel it as often as you can.
Why? Because it:
improves nervous system functioning
fights stress and pain
boosts your immune system
improves your blood pressure and reduces risk of heart disease
wards off or helps heal burn out
improves self-esteem
increases confidence
increases energy
fosters resilience (which has its whole host of benefits on its own)
makes being kinder easier
feels good!
I mean, sounds good, right? And you get that from openly and enthusiastically enjoying yourself. It’s a bummer that can feel kind of hard and a lot vulnerable. But I promise that if you give it a try, the benefits will strongly outweigh the fears - and you’ll find they’re just that. Fears. Think of the most joyful person you know. Do you hate being around them, and find them annoying? No! They pick up your day! Unless it’s Bethanita from accounting - she’s annoying. But you know what? She’s too confident to care from all the joy. It’s a win for you no matter how you look at it - if you felt joy more often, maybe Bethanita wouldn’t even annoy you so much.
But, how?
It’s not like you can just push a button and feel it. More than one of us has depression, the hallmark characteristic being an inability to feel joy. Most of us are overworked and grumpy. Too many of us have some very real and terrible things going on. How are we supposed to be joyful with all of that?
I’ll narrow it down to two things: being present, and connection.
If you’re low, start by trying to find more passive joy more often by focusing on what’s enjoyable right in front of you, right now. Lean into it, even if it’s small, or silly - especially if it’s silly. Remember that spending every minute of every day ruminating on a problem or feeling badly doesn’t actually help fix anything - it slows you down, hurts you, and reduces your problem solving ability! It’s okay to put things down, and just be. It’s okay to enjoy yourself even if you need to go back to problem-solving later. It’s okay to feel good right now, even if you’ll feel sad again later.
Reach out to your friends. Watch funny shows together. Try new hobbies together. Go for walks and look at your surroundings. People watch. Make dumb jokes. Make mistakes, together - that makes them funny and joyful. Remember learning to skate with your friends, and how good it felt to wipe out and laugh about it together? Joy isn’t perfection, or success. It’s connection and enjoying being present.
And - don’t roll your eyes at me, because I know you’ll have heard this before, but - meditate. For even five or ten minutes a day. For real. Meditation helps us feel present - which helps us feel joy. Meditation can help us learn what it feels like in our bodies to be present and connected; it’s a skill to foster.
But I just can’t empty my mind, you say! You get too bored. You get distracted. You fall asleep. But those things aren’t “not meditating”. They’re part of learning to meditate. Meditating doesn’t mean you don’t get painfully bored while focusing on your breath for the third minute in a row - it’s about being bored, and continuing anyway. It’s about having other thoughts drift into your mind, and letting them drift back out without judging them for coming by. It’s about paying attention to your body. If you struggle to meditate, I recommend trying guided meditations that take you on a small imaginative journey, or body scans (because they give you something to “do”). If it feels overwhelming, start small. Even just a minute or two at a time. Maybe meditating for you means having your cup of coffee in the morning outside, feeling the breeze, listening to the sounds around you, and tasting every sip of hot coffee, marking as the temperature changes, how it feels as you take a sip and feel it move down your throat and into your stomach. How the cup keeps the fingers of one hand warm while the fingers on the other get cold. It’s an oversimplification where many people would (probably rightly) argue with me, but meditation is largely just… actively noticing things.
Notice some stuff. Then notice more stuff. And in some of that stuff, you might find some joy. Lean into it. Let it expand you. You deserve to take up space instead of minimizing yourself, or reducing yourself to what you can do.
